the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
