I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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