is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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