How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
