he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
