I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize