just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
