toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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