She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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