u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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