just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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