In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
All I want is dick and wine.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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