Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
