He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
