I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
