Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
