I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
