Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
