I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
