i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize