Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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