We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize