Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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