Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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