??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
A+ Viking dick
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
