i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
