I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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