You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
