I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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