i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
