Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
