i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
