Sry I called you an 8
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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