You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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