brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
