3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
