best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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