i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
