What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize