Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
