he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We need a shit load of segways right now
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
