We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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