I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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