Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
