Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
