ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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