Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Drake has all the answers
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
