guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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