You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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