well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
