I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
