we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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